I believe:

    • There should be a better secular alternative to "Oh my God!"

    • “Lisp” is a very mean kind of onomatopoeia

    • It's entitled of us to call good weather "fair”

    • A healthy amount is always anything but

    • Moderation, like everything else, is best in moderation

    • Surf longboarding is not a sport, but a mode of transportation like a taxi or a ferry

    • The paparazzi are the toxic byproduct of human procreation

    • Brushing your teeth with your off hand is the first step towards achieving ambidextrousness

    • Gold should be reserved for medals and coins

    • If youth is wasted on the young, then wisdom is wasted on the old

    • It's ironic that the generation that invented participation trophies complains that the people they gave them to are now entitled

    • Advertising is like the police, everyone loves to hate it until they need it




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